The Decision to Take Time Off

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I think many women come to a point in their infertility journey when enough is enough, at least for a moment.  That moment may be a month or two, or a year; whichever is needed to bring yourself back to reality and your body back to normalcy.

My husband and I have been on the roller coaster for about 2 years.  Within a year of TTC I was diagnosed with PCOS, he with male factor due to low testosterone, began seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, and started treatments.  The second year brought a decision of IVF or IUI with injectables.  Being reasonable human beings we decided to five IUI with injectables a try and hope for the best.  After three back-to-back treatments (with a month in-between to heal my hyper-stimulated ovaries) we are moving on to IVF.  I had every intention of moving on right away, I am very aggressive and not to mention I am impatient and like instant gratification.  However, as I was sitting on our couch sobbing over yet another negative blood test by husband plead his case for me to take a break before pursuing our first round of IVF.

My wonderful husband, who is always supportive and encouraging, presented a strong case and persuaded my to sleep on it (like I slept at all that night).  After a couple days of thinking about everything he was incredibly right.  I guess you don’t always realize what is happening to you but those closest to you do.  He pointed out that he has been watching me in pain for a year, and it’s just not normal.  When I look back he is right.  I feel like my ovaries are about to die.  I don’t think they ever rid of all the follicles they produce and I don’t believe the swelling and fluid retention completely goes down.  “Do what you like and for yourself, get back to the gym, read”.  It’s the truth.  If I am going to be prepared physically and mentally to go through the invitro fertilization process and hope for the best outcome (not to mention spend incredible amounts of money) I should be as well prepared as possible.  So here’s to taking time!

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About thepcosandinfertilityjourney

For almost two years I have felt so down and alone trying to maintain a normal and happy life since I realized that my husband and I would struggle to create a family. I began to second guess everything in my life, have I done the right things, made the right choices, is it my job, is it where I live, what is it and what can I do to make it better? Then, one night while laying in bed it hit me, and the words just started flowing. I have always loved writing and when I was little always wanted to be an author but never had the inspiration of something to write about; now I do. I am going to share my story, my struggles, my hopes, my fears, my triumphs in the hope that it will help someone else going through the same rollercoaster that I am the way many books, blogs, and chats have helped me cope. I will share with you how I am determined to make sure that one of my life’s dreams are not shot down and the obstacles I go through to get there.

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