Our First (and Hopefully Last) Scare


Yesterday morning I awoke to a sight that I have seen over and over again in my nightmares.  I wiped and there was blood, I looked down in the toilet and there was more, including a clot substance sitting at the bottom of the toilet.  I, of course, immediately panicked and starting crying.  My husband who was still in bed came rushing in and after trying to calm me down I reminded him what the doctor had said, if you pass any tissue save it.  He tried retrieving the substance from the bottom of the toilet and thankfully it fell apart, I at least then knew it was a blood clot and not tissue.  This still did not calm my fears.

The clinic opens at 7:30 for blood and ultrasounds but the phones do not go on until 8-8:30 so we quickly get ready and headed there instead of calling the emergency line. I walk up to the counter and it takes every ounce of composure for me not to crumble to floor and sob hysterically.  The nurses pull me in to the back almost immediately and begin asking me questions.  Of all days of the year I pick the day that they actually have no doctor in the office that day and no ultrasound tech!  What are the chances of this happening!?  So, we are placed in a doctor’s office since it is more comfy and await my doctor to get in at the other office.  Of all days she is running late which is not like her at all and we wait about 45 minutes before we get her call.  She wants us to come down to the other office (which is what we suspected would happen).  So, after many hugs and well wishes from the nurses we were sent on our way.

The other office is much busier and is where all the IVF procedures also happen and is connected to the hospital.  We had to wait a bit as they tried to squeeze us in.  It was an agonizing half hour before the ultrasound tech came to get us.  I laid on the table terrified of what I might hear and I do not believe I took a breath until I heard her tell us that there were two sacks, and 2 heartbeats!  I started crying, overwhelmed with joy and relief.  After my husband soothed me I could see him out of the corner of my eye wiping his.  She did a thorough check of the babies and everything else, including my crazy ovaries which she could not believe were so huge (the right one is still wrapped around my uterus).  The babies are doing wonderfully, measuring at 8 wks 2 days and 8 wks 4 days.  Yesterday I was 8 weeks 2 days so that is great.  They also both had a heartbeat of 171 bpm (crazy!).

After the ultrasound we waited a little while for my doctor to examine me.  She discovered right away her suspicion, a polyp on my cervix.  It is not something to be too concerned about but I was put back on bed rest for the weekend.  She was even teasing me about how I am getting so good at it!  She also said what I’ve been saying, it’s going to be a loooong pregnancy!  Then, when referring to our four frozen embies, I had to laugh, “when your ready for another one we will put them in one at a time!”  I was, and still am, so relived that everything is ok.  We still go on Monday for our regular check-up and she said as long as everything is still going well we will graduate to our OB.  I am excited and nervous for that to happen.  I wish my RE could see things all the way through.  She has been there through so much with me and I have become so comfortable with her and the nurses.  But, I remind myself that I also went through a lot with my OB over the years before going to my RE.

Then this morning I was blessed with my first bout of vomiting!  🙂  Haha.  Strangely enough though after every thing today is the first day since I found out I was pregnant that I feel really truly happy and excited and not so much worried and scared.  I still know that we have such a long way to go but knowing that our babies are growing strong and healthy makes all the difference.


About thepcosandinfertilityjourney

For almost two years I have felt so down and alone trying to maintain a normal and happy life since I realized that my husband and I would struggle to create a family. I began to second guess everything in my life, have I done the right things, made the right choices, is it my job, is it where I live, what is it and what can I do to make it better? Then, one night while laying in bed it hit me, and the words just started flowing. I have always loved writing and when I was little always wanted to be an author but never had the inspiration of something to write about; now I do. I am going to share my story, my struggles, my hopes, my fears, my triumphs in the hope that it will help someone else going through the same rollercoaster that I am the way many books, blogs, and chats have helped me cope. I will share with you how I am determined to make sure that one of my life’s dreams are not shot down and the obstacles I go through to get there.

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