Double the Fun, Oh My!

We had our first ultrasound today, the big 6-week ultrasound.  I was so nervous.  I barely slept last night and was having crazy dreams.  I just wanted everything to be ok.  I was hoping for one healthy pregnancy and baby but much to our surprise as we were in the ultrasound we were told we are “two for two”!  I could not believe it and started crying instantly.  My hubby was beaming and in shock all at once and I even saw a few tears escape, it was so cute 😉  I turned to him and said, “Happy birthday Daddy!”  What a crazy blessing of a birthday present!  I am still in such utter shock and I am pretty sure I haven’t been this happy since my wedding day!  (May even be more so!)  I would have been just as happy hearing that the pregnancy was good but hearing that there are two, healthy, fraternal babies is just amazing!  Their heartbeats are 117 and 115 bpm and are also very similar in size.  Everything looks wonderful!

unfortunately my ovaries are still basically the same size as when I was in the hospital.  The fluid is not as pronounced and has gone down quite a bit but the ovaries are there to stay, probably until week 12 or so when the placenta takes over.  Doc said it’s not such a bad thing (albeit uncomfortable) because the extra-large ovaries make extra hormones which will help sustain a healthy pregnancy.

I guess this all makes sense why I had to break down the other day and pick up some maternity capris at Kohls.  I hadn’t bought any new clothes yet but I was getting so sick of wearing yoga pants in public and wearing anything normal is out of the questions, a. because my normally clothes do not fit, and b. because anything with a waist band is incredibly uncomfortable.  We also took a mini day trip to a really neat town called Frankenmuth yesterday and they also have a huge outlet mall nearby that we stopped at.  I bought some tops at the Motherhood outlet (hesitantly) but they were on clearance and they were fall/winter which is what I will need, and I’m glad because it looks like I will be needing them sooner rather than later!

I still can not believe the whirl wind of the last couple months and am looking forward to so many more special moments!  I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday week and baby dust to all! xoxo

Beta All Clear

This morning I went in for another blood draw to check my Beta.  Thankfully, my number had risen to a nice 1,958 which the doctor is very happy with; in turn making me happy. 🙂  Every time we have another successful test I feel little bit better.  I know that next Friday I will feel much better after the ultrasound.  It is hard to believe that I am already technically 5 weeks along.  Infertility is still such a reality that looms over me reminding me how easily I can be sent back into that horrible world of pain and anguish; though I know that I will always be a part of infertility, and will have to deal with it again when we are ready to have another child, I just want to have this one victory over infertility.  This one thing that the horrible world of PCOS and infertility can not take away from me.

Unfortunately the doctor also said that I can not drive still and have to be a “limited” passenger in vehicles, therefore, I am pretty sure that I will be going out of my mind soon.  Hopefully, my ultrasound next Friday will show that my ovaries have reduced enough that I can be a passenger or drive a vehicle.  Until then, more bonding time with my dogs and cats!  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and is doing many fun things for the upcoming holiday!  xoxo

Patience is a Virtue…Right?

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before patience is not one of my strongest characteristics.  I mean, I have patience for children, elderly, that type of thing but I do not have patience for waiting and I do not have the best patience for sitting around feeling useless and doing nothing.  I know am I not totally useless because I am growing a tiny human inside of me and it is all worth it, but still…

I think what is really getting to me is the worrying.  I worry all the time about things not going right with this pregnancy, heck, it is still hard for me to believe that after all of this time I am actually pregnant.  I worry that it will be chemical, or I will lose it, or something will just go wrong because it doesn’t seem possible that for once something is going right.  My beta yesterday was 426 which is good-it’s going in the right direction.  My thyroid was a little high so the doctor has me doubling my dose of synthroid, hopefully that helps.  Other than that the OHSS is progressing slowly but surely.  I am still on bed rest and the doctor said it will be up to me and how feel whether or not we go on our vacation up north next week over the holiday.  I really hope we can because I was looking forward to it but if not it’s ok, we have a baby to think of now!  I go back Friday for more blood work and then our first ultrasound is scheduled for July 6 (which is coincidentally my husband’s birthday)!  Until then I will continue to worry and continue to check the toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom, and monitor every ache, pain, and twinge.

More Reasons to Avoid BPA

Are You Affected by a Hidden Cause of PCOS? Part 2 Last week we reported on how new research has produced disturbing evidence that women with PCOS are particularly vulnerable to an environmental chemical called bisphenol A (BPA). Known as an estrogenic hormone disruptor, it can’t be seen, smelt, heard or touched.   However, researchers in the UK and Greece discovered up to 50% more of the chemical in the bodies of women with PCOS than those without the condition. They linked BPA with testosterone levels and insulin resistance and concluded that BPA could be a partial cause of PCOS.   The insidious nature of BPA also appears to extend to pregnancy and beyond. In lab animals, BPA passes to the fetus from the mother. Fetuses have a severely limited capability to detoxify chemicals such as BPA, with a baby at increased risk for later problems.   For example, the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill has reported that two-year-old children of mothers with higher levels of BPA had more disturbed behavior patterns. This was more pronounced in female children than males.   If rodent studies are any clue, both male and female babies will tend to be less fertile when they become adults.   For example, the University of Buenos Aires in Argentina recently completed a study of baby female rats exposed to BPA. When the female rats became adults, researchers discovered that BPA exposure was associated with increased testosterone and estrogen, and reduced progesterone. This is an unbalanced hormone pattern commonly seen in teenage girls and women who have PCOS.   In addition, the exposed female rats had much reduced fertility, with their ovaries having large numbers of ovarian cysts.   Is there anything you can do? There are two things. Reduce your exposure to BPA, and try to get rid of the BPA you already have.   You can reduce your exposure by trying to find out where it is. BPA is used in a multitude of hard plastic products such as water bottles, food containers, infant bottles and medical equipment and supplies. BPA may also be found in the lining of canned foods and in many other non-obvious products such as thermal-printed cash register receipts and some dental sealants.   Reduce your use of canned foods and eat more fresh food instead. Try to use glass containers instead of plastic for food, water and beverages. Don’t use plastic bottles to feed your baby. Use glass instead. Especially avoid heating items in a plastic containers or bags when using a microwave. Heat can release even more BPA into the food.   It may be difficult to get rid of the BPA you already have, but it’s worth trying. Your liver can detoxify BPA and send it to the intestines for elimination. However, up to one-half of women with PCOS have livers that are infiltrated with fat, thus possibly slowing down the detoxification process.   However, a healthier diet with as many natural products as possible also helps. Unfortuntely, as detoxified BPA passes down your intestines into the colon, much of the BPA is reabsorbed back into the bloodstream and goes straight back to the liver, where it just came from. This problem is made worse if you tend to be constipated.   But if you consume a diet that is high in whole foods and fiber, you improve your chances of flushing out the BPA before it can be reabsorbed into the body.

Sincerely,   Christine DeZarn Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Association, Inc. (PCOSA)

And the result is…

A short time ago as I was laying here in my drug induced state in and out of sleep after a pretty sleep-less night in the hospital; my doctor came in, took my hand, and told me congratulations.  I could not believe it and asked her if she was serious and then started to sob, then she started to cry with me.  I could not thank her enough and never can!  I am still in a state of shock and disbelief, I have made all of my phone calls and told those who were waiting to find out and it is still hard for me to believe even after I have said it over a dozen times by now.  I was beginning to doubt that we would ever hear this great news from our doctor but our day has finally come!

I am still suffering a bit but I don’t care anymore at all!  It is all so worth it.  Dr. H said I may be able to go home tomorrow but would still be on bed rest so we will see.  Thank you all for your support and prayers, this is such a long and arduous process.  I am looking forward to the next leg of our journey and still being able to fight the good fight against PCOS and Infertility.  xoxo!

Greetings from the Hospital

I wish I could have gotten this post done a couple of days ago but I was just brought my laptop, so here we go.  Over the weekend I slowly started to bloat more and experience more pain and discomfort.  By Monday I could barely walk because of the pain and bloating and also had very little breath.  I went to work anyways thinking it would get a bit better but unfortunately it didn’t so I contacted the RE office and explained what was going on.  A short while later they called back and said the doctor wanted to see my right away.  She examined me and said I was certainly having some severe hyperstimulation but wanted blood work.  Since it was later in the day she sent me to the nearby hospital to have it drawn then I went home to wait for the results.  A couple of hours later I received the call that they wanted to admit me in the hospital.

So, I packed a bag and waited for my husband to get home from work to take me.  It was smooth admitting.  My doctor called ahead and they already had a bed for me and the OBGYN resident had all of her orders.  They did a full ultrasound on my entire abdomen, a chest x-ray, and an ekg.  I have had a lot of blood drawn because they have to monitor that the most.  They are also measuring my stomach and taking my weight.  The protocol is Albumin which is a blood protein.  They give it to my through an IV a few times a day and then give me lasix which then make me go to the bathroom a lot.  I am also on oxygen because it really helps me breathe as well as pain meds and heparin to prevent clotting.  I can’t get out of bed at all except to use the restroom which is actually ok because it hurts too much and it is too hard to breathe when I do.  Heck, it is hard to sit up for too long and eating also causes a lot of pain because my stomach gets full and pushes on everything else.

My doctor said she only sees cases this bad that requires hospitalization every 2-3 years, go figure right!  Oh well.  She also said that at least 75% of them are pregnant.  That is a little promising but I am not getting my hopes up at all.  I believe they will be doing my beta test tomorrow.  Yesterday she told me to plan on being here at least through the end of the week (is that Friday or Sunday?  I’m not sure).  It’s king of rough but I know that I am getting better care here than I would be just at home so I am trying to make the best of it.  I am so thankful for my supportive family and friends calling, texting, sending flowers, just all of their love; it really means so much because I couldn’t go through this alone.  I also just keep telling myself that it will all be worth it some day, I just know it.  It is so funny too because all of the nurses can’t wait for my beta results either, they keep calling me the “baby maker” lol.  It’s cute.  They are so nice and good to me and I am thankful for that too.

Well, I am getting worn out and need to put my bed back down.  I will keep everyone updated as I go along.  Hope everyone is have a beautiful and blessed day!

T minus 1 Week

So, one week from today we will find out if our first stab at IVF took or not. I feel like Friday will never get here. I know that this is all part of the horrible TWW and I’ve been through it many times before but this has got to be the worst so far. I am still suffering from OHSS symptoms and I am constantly trying to judge if they are getting better or worse. I know better than to look for any signs of pregnancy because the progesterone can give you the exact same symptoms such as swollen/tender breasts, hot flashes, etc. I have been getting small bouts of nausea since like Tuesday and bad indigestion yesterday and today, not sure what that is about. I could also sleep ALL THE TIME! I am so tired. I have been taking a nap everyday and spend most of the evening bed. It is crazy. This is not like me to be so tired all the time. I know my body has been through a lot lately but my oh my.

I am so terrified of the results of our beta test. The past week I have been very positive and then since last night I have been thinking the worst and I can’t help it. I have to constantly struggle with myself to convince myself that I am pregnant because I keep on wanting to tell myself that I am not. I am not sure if I just know or if it is my subconscious trying to protect me. I just hope that time continues to go by quickly getting me to that special day…

Transfer and Beyond

Our transfer was on Saturday 6/9 and everything went perfectly.  The doctor was very happy with how everything looked and she said that the embryos were very healthy.  It amazes me how simple and quick the procedure is even though the outcome can be monumental.  My husband was very supportive through the process and I think that the moment ment a lot to him as well.  He has me in hysterics after the embryologist gave us the ultrasound pictures.  He pulled it out and said “yup, they look like me!”.  The entire day I felt pretty good and laid in bed just like the doctor ordered.  It wasn’t until the next day that everything started going down hill.

Sunday morning I was going through my normal routine of showering and getting ready for my day 2 in bed when all of a sudden I had sharp stabbing pains in my lower abdomen that had me crawling on the floor to my bed and screaming in pain.  I did not know what was going on and was so scared.  My husband called the RE office right away and right off the cuff the nurse said I bent my ovaries and to get me on my back asap and have me take my pain meds.  Something like this has never happened even with three prior OHSS but apparently this time my ovaries are so big something as simple as getting ready put me out.  I could barely move for the rest of the day and the pain was, sad to say, excruciating.

Yesterday was day 3 of bed rest and my ovaries were feeling a bit better, but nowhere near 100%.  I also started getting heavy bouts of nausea but thankfully nothing coming up, or maybe not thankfully because I might feel better if I was bowing to the porcelain God.  The nurse and I decided that it would be best if I stay home today as well, so here I am, still in bed.  I couldn’t put off getting on my blog any longer so here I am.  I have actually managed to get around my house a little bit today and also had my mother-in-law take me to the post office to send out my dad’s Father’s Day gift.  I must say that after that little adventure I came right to bed and took a pain pill.  Hopefully after a little while of rest I will be able to get up again and do a little something else.  I need to get back on my feet.  I need to feel productive.  I do not like feeling this way and do not understand why I am not getting any better.  I know it may take some time for my ovaries to go down but I’m hoping it is soon.  Until then I will continue to get a bunch of rest, weigh myself, and drink my powerade 0 and protein shakes.  I will also keep on looking at the picture of our cute little embryos, I’m thinking ballerina and football player, what do you think!?  We also received our call from the embryologist this morning and they were able to freeze 4 healthy, beautiful embryos and said that our embryos were very very healthy.  So many positive things going on it’s wonderful!

 

The Comedies and Pineapple are ready!

So I have my stack of favorite comdey dvds all set up on the dresser in our bedroom and a fresh pineapple in the kitchen ready to be cut so I can eat it (including the absoultely disgusting core).  Everything is ready for my three-day bed rest following our transfer at 9:45 am tomorrow.  I am very excited that my doctor will be the one to do the transfer tomorrow since she knows my body and has done all of the pre-testing and what-not.  Not that I am not confident in the abilities of the two other doctors at the center but I just feel more comfortable knowing my doctor will be there.

It is also a miracle that my husband will have the entire weekend off.  Working in the catering industry as an executive chef June is one of his bussiest months typically and by some miracle he has absolutely no events this weekend.  We could not have planned all of this better!  He is so good at taking care of me so I am so happy he will be home.

I am so excited and nervous and am already trying to think of ways to make the horrendous TWW go by as quickly as possible.  While I really really hope that this cycle takes and we are blessed with one (or two) healthy babies I am some what comforted in the thought that we will have some embryos to freeze to try again later if this does not work without having to go through the whole stimulation and retrieval steps.

I am still pretty sore and swollen so I worked for about 6 hours today and did a couple errands but have been in bed the past couple hours and plan on staying here, I need all the rest my body can get.  I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend and baby luck to all!

Cycle Day 12, Retrieval Has Been Set!

Today is cycle day 12 and my follicles have made a nice increase in size and my E2 level is 2,828 so our retrieval has been set for Wednesday at 9:30 am!  I will be taking to Ovidrel triggers tonight at 10:30 pm.  I am so excited and nervous all at the same time; it is amazing the buffet of emotions that are running through me right now.  I knew that I would probably be caught in a whirlwind of emotions when I knew this was going to happen but I was not prepared for this onslaught and I am so ready to take this next step on full force. 

I go to the doctor’s in the morning for blood work and to meet with a nurse to go over everything in detail.  They will also be doing some hyperstimulation blood work to check some other levels and prepare for the possibility of an IV medication during my retrieval.  I am so looking forward to the discoveries of the next few days and then hopefully a big positive beta test in a couple weeks!