So, I feel so incredibly guilty for not posting or checking in for so long. Work kicked in to full swing for the school year and I have been working an incredible amount of hours (way more than I probably should be) and by the time I get home I am so burned out I have no energy. Then on the weekends I waver between no energy and trying to get done what I haven’t throughout the week. I miss the outlet that my blog provides me and just can’t take it anymore! I decided that I just need to buck up and get back on the horse!
The babies are doing really well so far. 17 Weeks and 1 Day and counting. I can’t believe the way time is going by. We still have a long way to go but as more time goes the better I feel about everything. We are working on the office-to-nursery transformation and are about ready to paint. We have just about everything moved out and packed up, closet doors installed, and it’s looking good. We also picked up the cribs a couple of weeks ago on a good sale! They are really pretty and I can’t wait to put them up after the painting is done. I have slowly been picking things up, a few outfits, some decorations and toys, and things we need like mattress pads. I always go shopping every two weeks after my doctor’s appointment to celebrate another milestone. It’s a little treat to myself. 🙂
Unfortunately, I have been incredibly stressed out lately. Work has been just awful and cry daily, sometimes even more than once. This is not me (at least not at or about work that is). I am always tough and can handle anything and get through anything (heck, I made it through infertility so far, right!? We are strong women!). I sometimes even cry in the morning when I am getting ready for work just thinking about everything I have to do and deal with. My gums have even started just randomly bleeding a few times and I believe it is stress related along with the whole swollen gums when pregnant thing. I have no choice but to talk to my doctor about everything tomorrow at my bi-weekly appointment so I will see what he says. I hope he doesn’t want me off of work because then I will feel like a failure but at the same time if anything goes wrong with my pregnancy or my babies I will feel like a bigger failure. It is so difficult. My husband actually wants me off of work very badly. He thinks this is too much for me and hates seeing me in such distress. This is really surprising coming from him because he is normally the one to keep me going when I need it and Mr. “you’ll get through it, tough it out”. I know that my blood pressure has been elevated a lot. My hands and feet are swollen and sometimes my eyes throb and have black flashing spots when I’m stressed. I guess we will see what the doctor says, I know that I have to do whatever it takes for my babies. We have come such a long way to get here I don’t want to mess it up.
Well, I think that’s it for tonight. Boy do I feel better getting on here again! I promise not to be a stranger again! I hope everyone is doing well in his or her journey through infertility, have a wonderful evening! xoxo